cheese_fairy2

For the past two years; my aunt (age 79) has been helping her best friend who was diagnosed with Alzheimers. Although the diagnosis was recent; it soon became apparent that this had been developing for years. Her apartment was just filled to the doors with so much clutter and stuff that I could take all day to list it. My aunt and friends set about the task of decluttering but while this woman lived there; it was pretty difficult as she insisted on examining every slip of paper; every envelope of junk mail.
If I was to go back 16 years to the time I was asked to help her set up her VCR (remember those?) and although I can understand her having trouble with that; it was the moment when she asked me how she could get her CD player to work and I pressed the play button and she asked me how I did that that I should have twigged on to the fact that something was up. However it was just brushed off by my aunt as "well you're so mechanically minded" (yeah right; press the play button and I'm a genius! LOL)
This woman was really brillant in her time; a natural student who was a teacher and later a Protestant minister. As a child; I was quite intimidated by her in general.
Finally after two years of losing the skills necessary to live independantly (such as being able to drive, even use TTC, shop, cook or even remember how you get dressed) she agreed to go to a retirement home (which has a progressive system of supports as you decline)
Back to the apartment. Even after moving her and some furniture, clothes etc, what remained had to be seen to be believed. Today we found 40 handbags of varying condition from brand new to rotting with age. (just one example)
The thing is; I think about these things like the three boxes and two suitcases of slides we threw out that represented numerous trips she'd taken literally all over the world and now can't remember and I think of how her live has shrunk. Also as I uncover hand towels,sheets, and all manner of linens in the dozens some still with faded price tags on them; I think of what an impulse shopper she was and how this image of her racking up all this clutter just doesn't seem to fit with the well respected teacher and minister she was in her public life.
I then think of my possessions and imagine someone sorting through them (I know I"m getting morbid here) and what kind of snide comments they'd make?  In general I'm not really a pack rat and even if I was; multiple moves in my lifetime have forced me to downsize repeatedly. But even then; sorting through someone elses stuff because they don't have the ablity to do it themselves really seems to bring me face to face with the brief span of our lives and eventual mortality. (ie please let me go with all my marbles and preferably in a painless way that doesn't cause too much suffering to loved ones)
It also reminds me of having to do this same task in a far smaller way over ten years ago with my mom (who also moved several times and was subject to my hand in decluttering while she lived with us)
In a few weeks; I hope we will be finished. The only thing waiting is for some of the relatives to claim the few items of any value (a dining room set, a set of china and a few prints on the wall) and a few other friends who seem determined to eak every penny out of the remaining fairly worthless stuff (ie couches, some old furniture and a bed)
When the dust settles; at least I will have helped my aunt and she can move on to visiting her friend in the home. Fortunately my aunt's apartment is fairly organized and I won't be going through this in the same way again. (sigh of relief)

I have four kids. Everyone says "oh you must be so busy" or "it must be really busy at your house". But the thing is I have four kids but not all at once. My boys are now grown and plus they left home over 7 years ago. Marya is 14 and Talitha is 6. That translates into not too much work. Also this is the first time in 7 years that all four of my guys are in the same city!!
So this past month; I finally had all four together for dinner and was able to do something other families take for granted. Take a picture of all of them; together.



From the left: Joel age 23, Talitha age 6, Elliot age 21, Marya age 14 and me age 47.

It took long enough. 

Today I made a rare visit to Sherway Gardens; our local large fairly upmarket mall. I had to get Talitha a raincoat and wanted something reasonable but better quality than Wal Mart. Raincoats are a hard item to find sometimes as I'm always going in the wrong season (which seems to last about two weeks of the year and everyone knows when it is but me)
I did find something (on sale! :)) but before I did; I did a bit of window shopping.  If you don't go to malls much or places other than Value Village, Goodwill etc; malls can feel very glitzy and overwhelming. I took a quick walk through Eddie Bauer (I love their clothes but mostly I love them used! LOL) and immediately I was confronted by a salesperson on the prowl for a sale he could lock down and execute. (is it my imagination or do salespeople seem more aggressive now?) I quickly thanked him (just looking) and backed out of the store. I didn't even bother trying Gap or anywhere else but headed quickly for Sporting Life to get the raincoat (last one in the store except for some that were 89.99 marked down from $160???? Yeah my kid will sweat a bit more in her non gortex coat (29.99 complete with rain pants) but she doesn't seem to complain and it will keep her dry. Then they asked if I wanted to be on their regular shopper list (like for people who buy all their kids clothing there) ROTFL!!!  Well I do shop their regularly once every two years or so when someone outgrows their clothing or it wears out.
The saleswoman said I could roll up the sleeves if they were too long. (you can never buy too big for a 6 year old in my opinion)
Maybe one day our finances will improve to the point where mall shopping is a regular thing but until then; I do feel like I"m visiting another planet when I go to one. Maybe I should savour that experience.

With Joel and Elliot, my mom was around to teach them phonics and reading seemed to come fairly easily to them. Both were reading by their sixth birthdays. Marya had severe auditory learning difficulties so that was another story. Two sessions of Fastforword, $$$$ of tutoring by abcdecode and finally the summer before grade three; she started to read chapter books silently. (her first one was a Finding Nemo book and she's never looked back)
I find that people tend to typecast kids with reading difficulties and use the word dyslexia a lot. The see the kids as always being poor readers; hating reading and struggling through life until we get them a computer that spells and reads aloud to them. I tend not believe in giving kids skills not crutches.
Talitha has had her own problems with not deciding if she's right or left handed and reversing letters and words. Some would say she has dyslexia but it's a strange thing; they did MRI"s on the brains some kids diagnosed with dyslexia before and after tutoring and found changes to their brains once these kids learned to read. So do they still have dyslexia now that their brains have made the right connections (or different pathways to the same end?) I don't think so.
Talitha and I have been working together for a year now. First a session of Fastforword and then later in March; we started working on stringing letters together; a bit of abcdecode and then learning to blend. It has not been easy and there's many days when I have to force her to work. (she always gets three small chocolate pieces like Kit Kat bites or Malteasers afterwards; I do believe in incentives (cough! bribes)LOL
In March we struggled with blending words like cat (while also working on nonsense sounds like ab ag id ) She would sound out each word letter by letter (I can hold up under torture; I really can)
In June she was better but still reversing b and d as well as words like no and on. I did feel dispair but forged on. She got print fatigue on the  readers so I kept changing materials. Anything we could read was ok.
By July I could introduce one of the readers and although it was painful we worked through Six Ducks in a Pond (SRA series C) We then went on to King on a Swing and are now in Kittens and Children (for which I paid a hefty $70 as I couldn't find it second hand like the others and it's worth every penny as it really works on introducing words sequentially and Talitha really needs this) I call these prescriptive readers and you won't find them in most public schools in Canada partly because of the cost and partly cause of the idiots who decide curriculum going with the educationaly theory/flavour of the month. You will find them in many private schools which for me is the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval (as well as the fact that I can see how good they are)
Anyway September is knocking and I feel more confident. It's not that I want to be pushy but they do place higher demands for earlier reading and I want her to be in the winners group.
Once I feel ok about the reading; we tackle math....

Society used to be a fairly predictable place for kids in institutions like school and camp. Adults laid out expectations and ruled with an iron fist. I came through when this was partially true but fading fast.
In the past; teachers would have classes of 50 kids in rows and have no problem controlling them. Yes there was corporal punishment but the day was also highly structured and society (not just in the classroom) expected you to behave everywhere.  Even if you had ADD and it was difficult; you made the effort basically out of fear. Never underestimate the power or fear as a motivating tool.

Today; it's all about self esteem and self motivation. Which is great if you child has it but if they don't; suddenly those happy clappy teachers are frowning and using phrases like "does best with one on one" or "a smaller class would best serve his/her needs". Yesterday's teacher didn't try to palm off a troublesome student but considered it a source of pride to deal with it on their own. (yes there are way more difficult cases today that wouldn't have made it past the front door of the school a few years back)

Camps are no different. Yesterday Talitha started a week long VBS camp.  Unknown to me; they had brought in a whole new set of people to run it with a completely different program than the fast paced package deal they had last year. I got there at 8:50 and no way no how were they ready to start until 9:30.  Their fall back plan was to keep the kids busy colouring until they got their act together. Well I have news for you guys; the world is divided into kids who will passively colour until their fingers fall off and those who will finish one picture and then look around expectantly for something new to do. (and kids who won't even sit still to colour one picture etc)

The thing is today's classrooms/camp settings have none of the built in discipline of yesteryear and all of the same expectations that kids will fall in and conform to their expectations. Which a certain percentage of all kids will do; waiting patiently for you to get your act together.  And then there's kids like mine who aren't capable of waiting well (and she's improved big time actually if you don't put her to too much of a test like waiting mindlessly for a half hour)

Part of having a kid with a shorter than average attention span is helping them to cope and mature (as mine will according to the doctor) and finding programs/ teachers who are the right fit. I thought i had that with the VBS but then they changed it on me. Miraculously she seemed to have a good morning but if she had been just a shade more difficult I imagine it would have gone south pretty fast.

This little experience reminds me that many kids will do fine however lame the circumstances but my kid may falter if it's not a good fit for her personality. It's a harsh reminder.

Here's to hoping that the grade one teacher she gets can be a good fit and help her on her way to conformity and learning (which is necessary in the public school system) without too much trauma for either of us.

So I got my twice daily phone call from Marya confirming that she caught the bus home from Summer school. (I"m on a course this week) Then she complains; "Mom, did you know that the Lakeshore bus comes at 12 noon and that's when I get out of school. Then I have to wait a long time like a half an hour for the next one to come along. I think I should leave school earlier so I can catch the one that comes at 12" (LOL!) I'm like: "Yeah well it just doesn't work that way. The harsh fact of life is that buses schedules don't always mesh with life schedules. Why don't you bring a book to read while waiting?"
Marya: "I can't do that; I'd get too engrossed in the book and miss the bus"
Me:  "Well you can't leave school early!" "Sigh".

Today the weather looked great so we planned a trip to Port Dover. (about 1 1/2 hours SW of TO.  Anyway things were going great until I rubbed my eye and sent my contact lens into the underneath of my eyelid and couldn't find it to put it back.
The nearest hospital was in Hagersville. ( read back of beyond population 45,000 with three towns combined. It's also partly on the Six Nations Reserve (lots of signs for cheap smokes!)
Anyway I was a little reluctant to go to a small town hospital but Myke was right in that the wait time would probably be less.
They took me in and I sheepishly explained my situation. They take people sort of in order but triage means if a three car pile up comes in; you just have to wait longer. Also fortuneately I always keep my OHIP card in my wallet but I'm sure I would still have been seen.
Anyway in less than an hour I was seen by a doctor (really nice) who dug around and no way could he see the lens. His plan then was to put a call in to the opthamologist at McMaster General in Hamilton (the next biggest city) and have me seen there. While I was waiting; I went back into the washroom one more time and low and behold with a bit of pulling; the contact came into view and fell out. (huge sigh of relief)They were courteous and kind and even though the waiting area was a bit dingy; it was clean and they had a pile of kids books for Talitha to look at (and she was amazingly well behaved)
So basically I've been to a few emergency visits and each time; the service is pretty good. So all you guys out there who complain; it's not so bad. The other thing was at least two of the other patients weren't Canadian (one middle eastern family from Germany and one group from somewhere in the US; both groups here on vacation and Hagersville being the nearest hospital. And they were also well treated as far as I could see; I think the American spent a lot of time on the phone arguing with his insurance company or something as they'd never heard of Hagersville but in the end; his relative was still seen.
So while I'm sure everyone has an "visit to emergency from hell" story; I think by and large; our tax supported hospitals do their best and are generally filled with decent hard working people who do their best to see people in the best order they can. No complaints here.

Why is it when our faithful Leader of the Opposition meets with the Prime Minister and actually get him to make some concessions that he's criticized for not bringing down the government?  I thought that one of the strengths of a minority government was that the PM has less power and must to a certain extent tread carefully.
Iggy is no fool and if he got Harper to concede on anything (normally Harper would cut his throat rather than be agreeable) then I would say it was a rather successful week. It's not like Canadians want an election this summer anyway.
Lets give the Liberals time to plan more and the Alliance (oops sorry Conservative Party) more time to mess up. They're doing a pretty good job of it right now I'd say.

Today Talitha and I are meeting a friend for a playdate. In High Park. Did I mention the forecast was showers and thunderstorms???

Now personally I would have had alternate plans but no she was like "well we can bring raincoats and warm up with hot chocolate in the restaurant afterwards"

How do I find these people? Oh and yes I'm probably glad I don't live in Vancouver where they must do this all the time if the alternative is never leaving the house.

Of course on Friday it was mild and sunny. It will also be mild and sunny tomorrow.

So yesterday Talitha and I were visiting my aunt at her apartment. As we were walking down the hall to the elevators; I saw this bunch of people come out of an apartment all carrying folding chairs. Some of them were pretty elderly so the chairs looked heavy.  Anyway I asked :Where's the show?"  And the old guy answers "My sister died yesterday". (um Oops) (um sitting Shiva anyone??)
I made the appropriate apologies and then quickly dug a hole in the corner and escaped to another dimension in time and space.

Contents of my bedside table. (yes I'm planning on clearing it some day soon)

2 rosaries
spool black thread
crochet hook and knitting needles (one set)
1 salt shaker (we share)
$3.50 worth of loonies, toonies and quarters
1 pedometer (which I occasionally wear when I think I'm slacking)
4 packages of different dental floss (which I do use; I like the citrus flavoured one)
1 stitch ripper
1 dental pik rubber tip
1 dental pik (the between the teeth kind)
2 pens
2 hair clips
1 jar vaseline
1 tube of nystatin
1 book The School at the Chalet (I love boarding school stories)
1 empty wine glass (which will be removed; washed and probably refilled tonight! LOL)

(I won't go into the contents of the drawers; too lengthy)

Contents of Myke's bedside table

1 clock radio with twin alarm settings (6am and 7am for us)
1 portable phone and base
6 remotes (do we really need all those remotes??)

I guess that says a lot. I go up to bed earlier than Myke and spend time reading. I also occasionally mend clothing, knit etc. Hopefully that explains some of the contents. By the time Myke gets to bed; the room is dark and it better stay that way. He finds his way around by the light of the clock radio. (set on dim)

Today at Mass. "pssst mom; Fr. R. looks like Santa Claus"  Me: "No he's wearing the liturgical colour and today it's Pentecost so the red is lke the tongues of fire from the Holy Spirit" Her: "well I still think he looks like Santa Claus but I do like purple best" Me: "Yep well gotta wait until Advent."

The Confirmation Mass went well except that afterward; Fr. R. recommended that next time Marya wears high heels; she should do a bit of practice walking in them first! LOL

It was ten years ago that Joel was Confirmed. Elliot never made it as he had moved out by then.  :( 

Two years from now; Talitha makes her First Confession and Communion.

I mentioned to someone after Mass that Marya was my second Confirmation event and they asked how many more kids I had left. My answer: "I have no idea; I'm not putting any limits on numbers!"

I'm giving myself a pat on the back; I finally remembered to fish Marya's gym stuff out of her backpack and throw it in an already swishing load of clothes (well there were 35 minutes left so that should do something; and the water looked kind of soapy...)  I don't remember the last time I did this; I keep asking her but it never makes it out of the backpack; like in maybe 2 months???  One more month of school or so and then the outfit gets packed away for Talitha as she'll be getting a new one for high school.

I was thinking a lot about Marya lately. She went to the fun fair today at the school and offered to do caricatures of people for money ($2 a pop). It was very popular.  She is really gifted but didn't show well early. By that I mean that gifted kids in books are always portrayed as being very mature for their age and early talkers. I guess I showed that way although I have no idea if I rate as "gifted" as I've never been tested.  Instead; Marya talked late/had auditory processing issues that hindered communication and had very little tolerance for new situations she didn't like or clowns. (don't you noticed how popular they are at events and birthday parties these days? Well you would if you had a kid who screamed in terror whenever she laid eyes on one) I never much like clowns anyway.
When she was at the library the other day; a woman commented that she sounded a lot older than 14. She does. She has a very eclectic taste in books and topics and relates better to adults that her peers (although this is changing as they "catch up" to her in age)
At age 4; she was rejected from six private schools and the one that took a chance on her tanked after a year. We were left to the public system (God help us) during the famous "Mike "I'm going to chop every cent of funding I can from Toronto schools" Harris.  She could communicate in a very limited way (ie like a younger child) in terms of her needs and wants but took a long time to do well carrying on a back and forth conversation. As I said; in public she did not show well.
I feel sad for these lost early years. I was mistaken to even try to send her to school back then as it so did not meet her needs. I finally took her out to homeschool for a year or so (I just don't have a homeschooler temperament) and things did improve. I just wish I had had more faith that she would progress as far as she has and is rather than being discouraged by nay sayers.
Samples of really encouraging comments (not):
"Well she's made a lot of progress but as she gets older that gap between her and typical kids will widen."
"She's doing well now but as the work involves more abstract concepts she's run into trouble with all her processing difficulties"
"When the hormones kick in in adolescence; she'll find it difficult" (Ha ha ha she's like a model child now)
"She's high functioning for someone like her"
"She'd do better in a small sheltered classroom with fewer expectations"
"You're setting her up to fail"

I could go on but you get the drift. It's wonder any kids with challenges rise above them. Marya succeeded in spite of the system; not because of it.

When her speech got better; one of the first things she did was start talking about things that happened when she was to young to articulate them. So she was totally plugged in then and just not able to express herself.

As she heads off to high school; I have no idea what the future holds but I'm sure for her it will be interesting and people who meet her and get to know her will be richer for the experience.

Note: amounts can vary but still produce a good soup
Four chicken thighs (marked down for sale) (cook and debone; feed skin and gristle to dogs)
I onion
four large carrots
wilted bunch of celery
half a 1kg bag of frozen cheap broccoli stems (the kind where it's 50%flowers 50% stems which Myke will not eat)
various frozen soup broths or a 1litre carton of chicken broth (I save all dripping/boil all bones and freeze it)
1 cup cooked barley (that I had previously frozen)
I large can lentil soup (like 540ml or maybe 17oz)
1-2 cups frozen corn and peas
handful of fresh/frozen coriander
dried coriander
shake of Lawrey's Seasoning Salt
1/4 cup or more of Franks Hot Sauce (buffalo chicken style)

Cook and debone chicken
Saute onion, chopped carrots and celery in olive oil and then add broth or some water
do same with broccoli stems but don't over cook
When all veg are tender; whirl in blender to puree and put back in soup pot
Add lentil soup, corn and peas, seasonings,barley and chopped chicken
You can also add some processed cheese slices as desired
Serve

The whole point of this was really the chicken sitting in my freezer (Myke isn't too fond of dark meat but will eat it in soup sometimes) and the dratted broccoli stems which I was ready to pitch but remembered my other recipe for Buffalo Chicken soup that purees either broccoli or cauliflower. Thankfully I have an $8 blender which I bought on craigslist and has paid for it'self a million times over.
This soup is a nice change from our typical ground beef/pork/turkey bean taco type soups.

I make soup at least once  a week to save money and add variety. I think maybe even Marya will eat this as there aren't any visible veggies and she can always add more Franks (and I'm sure she will)

So Victoria Day weekend is upon us again. The newspapers are full of stories of people doing the long drive to the cottage to open it up again and barbecues and firework displays and of course the warnings about drinking and driving/boating/etc.

This is a nice fantasy; this weekend that is supposed to mark the beginning of summer fun but the reality is that 9 times out of 10; it's cold and wet. We sit out there either setting off our fireworks or grilling steaks wearing  gloves and windbreakers. (ok we're Canadian and the parkas are stowed once it goes above freezing! LOL)

We don't have a cottage; I used to fantasize about having one but something in the two plus hour drive each way along with the responsibility etc that turned me off. I did give my kids summer memories of a cottage sort by sending them to camps up north. (Talitha will go too when she's old enough)

The leaves are finally out on our little red oak. It's been a cold spring and it seemed like all the foliage was very tentative like as in "i'm just going to stick my toe in the cold lake slowly" We have yet to have any kind of sustained heat wave (or much over 20 degrees for more than a day.  The sad reality is that our springs are cold and our falls (where they advertise crisp wool sweaters and skirts as back to school wear) are hot hot hot. Shorts and t shirts would be a better suggestion. Somewhere in between the two we have this season called summer and with any luck a few decent weekends where it is hot and dry.

A week ago I got told that our front lawn is mostly dead so I spent last week raking up the dry dead stuff, seeding grass, raking peat and now we do the daily water thingy. (and this was not a trivial task given it was accomplished in the two daily hours that Talitha goes to school) (I shudder to imagine her if she got her hands on a bag of peat; I got my hands on it and that was messy enough)

Yesterday was our 15th anniversary but we are putting off celebrating until (you guessed it) the weather improves. Myke wants to go to Elora (the scene of our famous first date) but our date was in August (come to think of it; it was not a warm day either) so hopefully we'll go in a few weeks. He was out last night anyway as they got bargain tickets courtesy of RIM to see the new Star Trek movie. I'll be watching it on DVD when it comes out; movie theatres are just becoming a state of sensory overload for me with the flashing lights and loud noise.

Somehow we are hanging in there; paying off a bit more debt; enjoying the low interest rates (too bad they don't extend to credit cards) and hoping next year will be a bit less lean.
Our fost/adopt course is in a month and hopefully after that we will at last be ready for them to look for a match.

That's all for now.

My mom was a convert to Catholicism.  She was originally Anglican but was attracted to the Catholic Church partly because of the mystery and ritual such as Latin, Novenas, Seasonal festivals etc.
Then Vatican II came along and that all went in the garbage. (literally in some cases)
Well my mom would have been impressed today as I went to our church's Marian procession.  A one hour walk in the downtown neighbourhood (with at least a dozen cops in bikes blocking off streets and I'm sure the streetcar travellers were cursing) saying three mysteries of the Rosary and about 7 hymns. (the oldies but goodies like Hail Holy Queen and Regina Caeli and of course Immaculate Mary)
Our fearless pastor led the prayers in a car with speakers on top while the rest of the priests, seminarians, First Holy Communion kids and Confirmandi followed by us faithful.
Note to others: it's hard to finger the beads while wearing gloves but it was a pretty cold May day (but at least not hailing like yesterday)
We finished up in the schoolyard with some final prayers, hymns etc and a presentation of flowers to the statue of Mary and juice and cookies in the school gym.
I always wonder how my faith would be different if I had had these kind of experiences in my childhood and youth. I think we did the Rosary once (although we did learn the mysteries), no Stations of the Cross (again we studied them) and no feast days or fast days (our church always publishes days of Fast and Abstinence but I grew up being told that they didn't exist anymore)
I do love Gregorian Chant and I'm glad to have found a church where it is a common practice to use it in the Mass but moreover; I've found priests and other religious who aren't afraid to be priests (rather than just trying to be one of the guys) and offer solid spiritual direction from the pulpit.
I really don't see a return to a universal Latin Mass and I personally wouldn't want it but I do like seeing more devotions and ritual coming back. The "New Liturgical Movement" has my vote.

There is an old woman who goes to my church at a later Mass but hangs around coffee hour before that most Sundays. Today we didn't have coffee hour as they are still working on the wheelchair elevator. I hang out in the basement while Marya does her Confirmation class and this woman (Lillian); came down and we got to talking. I'm learning to knit and she mentioned that she started knitting in the sanatorium where she spent 2 1/2 years as a teenager.
Her story goes like this: She grew up in New Liskeard (a small community in Northern Ontario) and was 9 when her mom died of TB leaving her and her 4 younger sisters. (can you imagine?)  When she was 17; she herself was diagnosed with TB after suffering from double pneumonia. Apparently though; the TB was in the lining of her stomach (who knew?). She was sent to this TB sanatorium for 2 1/2 years while they treated her with drugs, good food and rest. She said they were very strict and they had to nap from 1-3pm every day and it was lights out at 10pm sharp. Once every two weeks; they'd give you an injection and it laid you flat for several days (God knows what it was)
When she was better; she came home and had to wait a year to work (that was the law then) but then got a job as a proofreader for the Toronto Star. Then she relapsed and had to go back to the San for another year and a half. So now  she's in her early 20's and after being finally cured; she was able to get secretarial training in Timmins. The government would pay for job training if you had been in the San for TB. Interesting.
I asked her if it was lonely in the San but she said that she was in a ward with teens all her age and that they kept in touch for years afterward; I would guess you'd make friends staying somewhere that long. It's interesting that it was apparently a normal thing in the early 1950's for a TB ward to be full of teens like it was a common illness. She thinks she probably got it from drinking unpasteurized milk and that was a common cause. I asked her what she thought of the Raw Milk movement and she said they couldn't pay her to drink raw milk.
We've come a long way from the time when people's parents would die at young ages from things like TB or possibly other diseases and where teens have to live in sanatoriums but it was an interesting look at a time gone by and I am grateful for her sharing that.

I've been walking every day now since the beginning of March. At first it was pretty grim; wet snow, icy wind and gray skies. Today it was sunny with a clear blue sky and little wind. I've figured out that living near the lake; it will be cooler in the summer, warmer in the fall in winter and then cooler again in the spring so while the weather report says high 15; they also qualify that it will be 10 near the lake.
I walk Talitha to school and then continue on the Lakeshore to New Toronto or further (about 20 mins) and then turn back and cut across the Humber College campus that is wooded and nice. (it's a former insane asylum and also the place where the Police Academy movies were filmed)
Near my street; this old Italian guy hailed me and asked if I was going to school. I guess he meant Humber and not the local high school but still. I must wear plaid skirts and a back pack more often. (I also had my earphones plugged in listening to Oldies 1150) Anyway at 47; it's cool to be mistaken for a student; it's all in the image.
Coming home; reality struck as I walked into the scene that we left hurriedly (but in a good mood this morning!) of Talitha's pajamas lying on the floor where she dropped them; the tutoring books all over the counter and finally made my morning egg that I had no time to eat before leaving.(just being able to go to the bathroom before leaving is a victory around here and being able to do it without a fight breaking out)
Now I will go about my morning where I become the invisible elves that empty the dishwasher, put in a few loads of laundry, clean up the kitchen, straighten bedrooms and set up the tutoring books for our lunch session. As well, I'll ready the thermos, juice and snacks for our trip to the homeschoolers drop in as it's Thursday.
Tomorrow we meet with the principal to determine Talitha's teacher next year; hopefully we'll have a good outcome and she'll get the nice guy and not the nasty old bat who I can't stand. Getting a child to work with you and not just because you say so it always more pleasant.
That's all for now.

I have to start out by saying that my dad died suddenly of a heart attack when I was 17 so in someways our relationship remained unfinished.  Some of the things I am going to write are like a delayed action thing where I learned it from thinking about him over the years.

What I learned from Dad.

1. A love of Classic movies thanks to his beloved Centre Film Society. Prior to videos, DVD's and the like; we had big screen movies in our living room like Citizen Kane and North by Northwest. He also inspired a lifelong love of Hitchcock and would probably loved to discuss the music of Bernard Hermann who did much of the scores for his films. I also used to read all the movie books with titles like :The American Movies" or The Musicals of the Forties.  Movies were never just watched; they were discussed in depth including the stars, directors and music.
2. A hatred of censorship.  I was allowed free range as far as books, movies etc. He joined my mom in believing that if you understand it; it's fine and if you don't; it won't hurt you. Valley of the Dolls was a pretty lame movie but if I had been forbidden to watch it; I probably would have developed an obsession with it.
3. When I was 15; I bought two albums of Gregorian Chant; my dad said something like "boy you would have loved the Church before the changes" I didn't understand it then but now that i go to Holy Family and hear chant every Sunday; I do. My dad was a pretty observant Catholic in his youth; altar boy, church choir and finally up to meeting my mom at the Catholic Information Centre helping new and wanna be Catholics find their way.
4.I do wish he hadn't been so determined that i shouldn't learn to drive as I had to take a crash course when he died and learning to drive a standard is not trivial (at least not for me)
5. Even though I'm a difficult person and was a difficult teenager; he did love me and understood.  I carry this through to my own kids; including my two no longer so difficult ex teenagers.
6. He encouraged me to follow my dreams even if he couldn't follow his. I spent a year at George Brown learning Pastry Chef training. It turned out to not be my life's vocation but it was an unforgettable experience. I"m sure he'd be the same about Joel in Paris.
7. Indirectly; Marya inherited her artistic talent from him. He was alwayst here to draw pictures of birds, deserts or whatever else I needed for the interminable projects we were given to do in the 70's. He also drew comics for the school yearbook and for his uncle during the war.
8. The different experiences of someone who was a child during World War II. He didn't have to face the bombing like my mom but did have his own hardships as his own dad died in 1943 when he was 43 and my dad only 16. He did have a crazy desire to go to New York and lie about his age and try to join the army but with his vision; I wonder if he'd have passed the physical. Plus it would have been hard on my grandmother.
9. My dad came from a different era. He could have gone to university but he used to brag he went to "the college of hard knocks" (or straight out to work) He did try to work on his BA for a bit while working but found it too hard going so my mom went for her degree instead.
10. My dad was a smoker. He tried to quit several times but it was brutal in a time without nicotine patches and smoking allowed at your desk etc. He also liked his scotch. A lot. but not so much he ever missed a day at work.
11.My dad is gone but lives on through his movies. I am watching a scene from The Lady Vanishes (one of my favorite movies) and I can hear his comments. Or Dead of Night. He also liked the movie review books. It was like a Bible for viewing.
12. My dad died just before technology took off but I know he would have embraced it. He talked about CD's and videos in the theoretical phase and how amazing it will be when we can watch a movie on demand. Of own a tv that hangs on the wall like a picture (flat screen tv's) We still aren't zooming around on flying cars like the Jetsons but we do live in an amazing future that my dad never got to see. If he was alive today he'd be 82. Hard to imagine as time stopped for him at 51 and here I am a few short years from that age.
13.I think one of the biggest things my dad taught me was liberalism. My parents were for Trudeau when Trudeau was hot. They had a big Trudeau for Prime Minister sign in our front window. Trudeaumania. 1968. Those were exciting times. Both my parents were completely free of prejudice and when a man came knocking at our door inquiring about the upstairs apartment we had for rent; my parents said "well maybe you should come up and see if it's to our liking" and the man who had knocked at many doors and been turned away because of the colour of his skin and Jamaican accent nearly fell over in shock. They were the best tenants my parents ever had and remained friends for years.

I'm sure there are other things I can say about my dad but it's hard to put them all down. All I can say is that he is not forgotten and every January 8 I do remember. I could do a lot worse.

1. Always have a goal in sight; even if you don't have a goal of choice; pick something else and focus on that for a while. Being without goals is drifting or floundering.
2. If in doubt or worried about something; get busy rather than sitting around dwelling on worries.
3. When making tea; the water should always be on a rolling boil. Anything else makes crappy tea.
4. Socks can be darned repeatedly.
5.Life is unfair.
6.You can make your own luck.
7.Mend tears before they really start to go or it will be so much harder to fix them. (probably a metaphor for life in there somewhere)
8. If you have kids; stay home as long as possible because once you go out to work; you'll get used to the money and not want to quit.
9. Breastfeeding is the best method of feeding a baby and besides; it's free.
10. It is easy to rewire a lamp or put in a new light switch rather than call in an electrician.
11. Quality clothing lasts longer than the cheap stuff.
12. Education is never a waste of time.
13. How to make stuffed animals out of coat linings.
14. How to cook from scratch and really stretch a dollar.
15. How to sew my own clothes or alter them.
16. To believe in myself.
17. A love of reading and public libraries.
18. Most kids can learn the basics if given the right type of instruction.
19. To not have any prejudice against different races or religions; which included renting our upstairs to Jamaicans in the 60's and allowed me to attend Toronto's first Caribana.
20. To appreciate being born in Canada through the eyes of an immigrant who experienced the Depression and Second World War.

I'm sure there is more but that's all I can think of.